Married life

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

It has been 16 days since we've been married.

We are one those couples who had to experience the sweet and bitter of long-distance marriage.

It's hard but we keep on praying to Allah to strengthen our hearts and bless this marriage.

Oh, Allah. Please fill our marriage with sakinah, mawaddah wa rahmah.

There's a lot to update but I've already started working and it has been really busy for me.

InshaAllah, will update when I have the time.

InshaAllah.. :)

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Are you ready?

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

One of my friends once asked me how do I feel about getting married.

How do I know whether I am ready or not to carry the responsibility of being a wife?

And her last question was, when will it be her turn?

To her first two questions I honestly answered that up until today I don't know whether I am ready or not to be a wife. I am really nervous and also scared at the same time. The idea of marrying someone that I just know is really terrifying.

I only met my fiance 3 times throughout this 5 months we've been engaged and all 3 times are in the presence of my parents.

I am scared but I keep on praying to Allah that if he is destined to be my husband, if he is the one He has chosen for me, please guide me, please give me strength and please give me peace in my heart to accept him. Up until today, despite of all my uneasiness and reluctance, Allah has so far made all my wedding plans easy.. inshaAllah..

The truth is that in life you can never be ready. But eventhough you can't be ready, but you can surely be prepared.

To her other question, some of us might have also been wondering about the same thing. When will it be my turn?

To my friend I answered, do not become too focused on wondering when will it be your turn, because the only one who knows that answer is Allah alone. Keep on praying for the best and always remember that good things take time. I always tell myself that when Allah has seen that you are ready, He will surely send you the right person right away. But if you feel like you are ready but the right person has still yet to surface, perhaps that person is still in the process of tarbiyyah so that he/she can be the best spouse for you, in this life and in jannah.

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Invitation Card

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

It has been quite some time since I last post in here..
Been busy working. My laptop has been peacefully resting in my closet for the past 1 month. I hope one day when I have the time to turn in on, it will still be functioning.

Today, my maid of honour whom I'm sharing a room with in the quarters of my workplace offered to help me design my own wedding invitation card.

Well, I have to tell you that, I am not very good at designing things digitally, watching her work her magic makes me feel really amazed.

Why do I choose to design my own invitation card?

Well, the truth is I don't really mind if the card is not expensive. What matters most to me is that the card can be useful. Because after the date of my wedding passed, people would be throwing it away anyway. Why waste on something that other people would throw away?

However, the other day, my mother and I went to a local shop in our housing area. This shop is owned by the daughter of one of my mom's friends. So mom suggested for me to get my cards printed in her shop to help her business.

The shop owner told me that if I design my own card, I could get a nice card according to my taste and it would be cheaper, just around 60 cent per piece. A full coloured card. And since the shop is very near to my house, it will also cut the cost for delivery or transportation.

So, today the design for my invitation card has already finished. And I love it!
I totally couldn't have imagined that I could get a card based on the design that I wanted, until today.
I've been surfing the internet dozen of times searching for the one that I like and couldn't be satisfied.
But now, I am very happy to have a card with the design that I like at a cheaper cost.

A little sneak peak of the design... =)

Wedding date revised??

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Just got back from induction program for 4 days and 3 nights. pheww..

I got the hospital that I applied for, Alhamdulillah..

But after I got the letter, I realised that my wedding date might clash with the duration of my tag of the 2nd posting.

FIY, for housemen working in government hospitals in Malaysia we need to undergo 2 weeks of tagging..

It's not that I can't apply for leave during that date. It will be difficult but it can be done, inshaAllah..

My main problem is that, none of my friends would be able to attend my wedding if that happens! Because they would also be doing their tagging rotation. And giving excuse such as wanting to attend a friend's wedding wouldn't be such a strong one to put in into the application form, would it?

Erghh.. I don't know what to do right now..

Have to wait until monday so that I could confirm the rotation schedule and then I would have to call to adjust the booking date of the hall..

Pray that everything would be at ease, InshaAllah..

Update preparation

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Saje nk update preparation..

Setakat ni apa yang saya dah setelkan utk majlis saya nanti:-

1) Date (mmg dah lama set)
2) Dewan (deposit payed. to pay full payment one month before the event)
3) Catering (discussed with the owner who is a friend of my mum. no payment has been done yet. to discuss in detail 2 months before the event)
5) Baju untuk nikah (dalam pakej andaman, sekali dengan pelamin. dah ukur. to pay full deposit)
6) bilik pengantin (perabot, cadar, langsir dah beli.. tinggal nnt nk hias sikit2 je. letak2 bunga2 ke..)
7) baju bertandang (baru jek beli kain, belum tempah lagi. Currently, takde idea nk buat design baju ape. Tp takpe sbb kenduri sebelah lelaki lambat sikit. Kain warna peach atas pilihan bakal mak mentua. Loving the colour!)
8) photographer (dah book orangnye. Tinggal nak bayar deposit untuk confirmation.)

Perkara-perkara yang belum diselesaikan:

1) Dokumen-dokumen nikah.. (tunggu pihak lelaki selesaikan urusan dia dulu)
2) Kad jemputan (belum tempah pun lagi.. huhuhu.. mum and sis dah bising2 suruh tempah cepat2)
3) Doorgift semasa majlis (pening nk fikir.. tambah pening bila kita yang kena uruskan tapi orang lain pun ada idea dia jugak~)
4) Tempat nak akad nikah.. rumah ke masjid? masing-masing ade pros and cons dia.. untuk majlis akad nikah, ingat nak sewa bantal nikah dengan bridal shop je.. Tp my mum nk guna tok punya.. (risau sbb elok lg ke bantalnye???). Tak perlu mic untuk akad nnt.. buat menambah nervous bakal suami jek.. kalau kat rumah, nak pelamin ke? Tp hanya utk akad nikah je rasa cam tak berbaloi je..

Apa lagi ye..? Rasa macam banyak lagi benda yang belum selesai..

p/s: sorang-sorang je plan wedding sendiri..
p/p/s: only a few months left for preparation and I'm starting work soon so I don't know how I'm going to continue my preparation afterwards. Have to make use of any holidays that I earn.

Wedding theme: Purple and white

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Never thought that it would finally come to this, me writing about my wedding theme.

Always considered this blog as a source for me to share other things about my wedding, things that are more related to my goal of having a modest wedding.

But I guess, after days of having nothing to update, it has finally come to....

discussing my wedding theme!

The idea of having a purple and white wedding theme actually came to me one fine day, after trying on the wedding veil I'm borrowing from my sister's friend, who is also my senior in university. I have adored her solemnization veil and when I've decided to get married, I wanted to borrow it.

Her veil was ivory white with ivory lace and sewed on the lace are white pearls and some pinkish, purplish beads. To tell you honestly, the beads look more pinkish than purplish, but I knew that my fiance wouldn't want to wear pink on his wedding day, and I thought purple might suit too.

Why white and purple?





It is because, my plan is to wear only just one dress for my wedding day. Most brides would wear at least two dresses; one at solemnisation, and another one at the reception.

To save budget, I planned to wear the same attire for that day. I mean why not?

If you consider the cost, a typical modern baju kurung for solenization would cost at least rm 200. And this is only to be worn for a couple of hours. And after that, if you rent a pair of wedding attire from a boutique, the cheapest would be around rm 600 for both the bride and groom. If you are having one tailored, the cost would be much higher including the fabric and tailoring cost. That is however, also depends on the type of fabric that you've chosen and how elaborate you want your dress to be.

One would say, "Hey, it's your wedding day! What's wrong with spending a little more?"

Well, I would say that it is very impractical to pay such a big amount on a dress that you would only wear once and only for a couple of hours. Yes, you could rent it out. But, if you had it tailored the chances that someone would rent your dress is pretty low because they can't alter it. And a bridal boutique owner had once told me about customers wanting to sell to them their wedding dress. She said that most of the time it's quite difficult for them to accept because the fabrics used are sometimes not up to their standards. Unless you've bought the real expensive fabrics, then you might as well be able to rent it out or sell it to a boutique.

For sentimental value? Well, we've gonna have pictures and videos of the big day right? For me, that's enough as proof that I've once worn a wedding dress, or getting married for that matter!

Well, it's up to you to decide what you're going to do with your money. But, in the Al-Quran, Allah has said; The squanderers were ever brothers of the devils.." (Al'Israa':27) (Reminds me of a title of a movie: The Devil wears Prada)

Back to my wedding theme..

Hehe.. so I would really like to wear white or off-white on my wedding day, and I think there's nothing wrong of wearing white to the reception as well. There are other brides who've done that, and the westerners wear the same dress to their reception too. But to add some colour, I chose purple because you know, I love pink because I look good in pink but to respect the wish of my future husband, purple is the closest that I can get to pink! ^^,

And, my future husband would wear a baju melayu for the solemnisation and also the reception. Call me weird, but I like it much better for him to wear baju melayu instead of the fancy wedding attire that most bridegroom wear. And he prefers it too! ^^, I hope he would wear a purple sampin to match my dress. (I haven't discuss with him yet)

I think that's it for now about my wedding theme. There are other stories to share, and I'll update later about the theme on his side..

In the meantime, plan wisely my fellow bride-to-be! ^^,

Awas sikap suka bermegah, suka dipuji dan, awas dalam memberi pujian!

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Post kali ini mungkin nampak seperti kurang berkaitan dengan persiapan untuk melangsungkan perkahwinan. Bagi yang merasakan begitu, anda silap!

Sudah menjadi ikut-ikutan masyarakat kita sekarang apabila mengadakan majlis perkahwinan hatta majlis pertunangan, dilaksanakan dengan tujuan untuk menunjuk-nunjuk. Majlis diadakan sebesar-besar dan semewah-mewah mungkin supaya tetamu yang hadir akan berasa kagum dan lantas memberi puji-pujian kepada tuan rumah.

Bagi yang benar-benar ingin mendapatkan redha Allah dalam melaksanakan perkahwinan, pasti sangat-sangat mengambil berat perkara ini dan pasti akan meneliti sedalam mungkin niat di hati dalam melaksanakan persiapan untuk berkahwin.

Tanya pada iman, adakah walimah yang ingin dilaksanakan untuk melaksanakan sunnah dan mendapatkan redha Allah, atau ingin bermegah-megah menunjukkan kekayaan dan kecantikan?

Astaghfirullah... Astaghfirullah.. Astagfirullah..

Saya berlindung dengan kekuasaan Allah dan rahmatNya supaya saya diberi kekuatan yang terus menerus untuk melaksanakan walimah nanti dengan syariatNya. Amin!

Berikut adalah satu artikel yang sangat penting mengenai pesanan-pesanan buat bakal pengantin dan juga untuk yang bakal menghadiri walimah rakan2..

Berhati-hatilah semasa memberi puji-pujian kepada sahabat yang berkahwin. Seelok-elok perkataan pada hari perkahwinan sahabat itu bukanlah puji-pujian, tapi doa untuknya supaya perkahwinan sentiasa diberkahi dan diredhai Allah.

dicopy dan pastekan dari http://nurjeehan.hadithuna.com

Jendela Hikmah:
Oleh Prof Madya Maznah Daud

SUKA dipuji dan memuji diri sendiri adalah sifat mazmumah yang membuahkan sikap riak. Sebenarnya yang layak dan berhak dipuji hanyalah Allah. Inilah maksud dalam surah al-Fatihah:

"Segala puji hanya untuk Allah, Pencipta dan Penguasa seluruh alam." (Surah al-Fatihah, ayat 2)

Segala yang kita kagum dan takjub semuanya rekaan Allah Yang Maha Bijaksana termasuklah diri dan segala kepakaran serta kebolehan yang ada pada kita. Justeru, di mana letaknya kewajaran dibuai perasaan bangga dan bahagia apabila mendapat pujian yang belum teruji keikhlasannya?

Memuji Allah dengan lafaz "Alhamdulillah" mengandungi pengiktirafan akan Kebesaran, Keagungan, Kesempurnaan zat dan sifat-Nya. Di samping itu, ia juga mengandungi pengertian kesyukuran tulus ikhlas di atas segala nikmat-Nya yang tidak terkira.

Memuji Allah adalah satu ibadat dan Allah sangat suka kepada hamba yang memuji-Nya. Jabir bin Abdullah meriwayatkan bahawa Rasulullah SAW bersabda yang bermaksud:

"Zikir yang paling afdal ialah "LailahaillaAllah" dan doa yang paling afdal ialah "Alhamdulillah". (Hadis riwayat at-Tirmizi)

Anas bin Malik meriwayatkan, Rasulullah SAW bersabda yang bermaksud:

"Di kala Allah menganugerahkan satu nikmat kepada seseorang hamba, lantas hamba itu menerimanya dengan ucapan "Alhamdulillah" maka "Alhamdulillah" yang diucapkan itu lebih baik daripada nikmat yang diterimanya. (Hadis riwayat Ibn Majah)

Daripada Abdullah bin Umar, Rasulullah SAW bersabda yang bermaksud:

Apabila seseorang hamba berkata, "Wahai Tuhanku, untuk-Mu saja segala pujian yang selayaknya dengan keagungan wajah-Mu dan kebesaran kekuasaan-Mu, dua malaikat terpinga-pinga, tidak tahu apa yang hendak dicatatkan. Lalu kedua-duanya segera menghadap Allah dan berkata: Wahai Tuhan kami, sesungguhnya seorang hamba-Mu mengungkap satu ucapan yang kami tidak mengetahui bagaimana menulis pahalanya. Allah bertanya apakah ungkapan itu sedangkan Dia sudah mengetahuinya. Maka malaikat itu menyebut ungkapan yang didengari. Allah berfirman kepada kedua-duanya: Kalian berdua tulislah apa yang diucapkan oleh hamba-Ku itu. Apabila tiba waktu dia kembali menemui-Ku nanti Aku akan memberinya ganjaran yang sesuai dengan ucapannya itu." (Hadis riwayat Ibn Majah)

Diriwayatkan, Rasulullah SAW mendengar seorang lelaki memuji seorang lelaki lain, lantas Baginda SAW bersabda yang maksudnya:

Malang kamu! Sesungguhnya kamu sudah memotong lehernya! Kemudian Baginda SAW menambah: "Sekiranya seseorang daripada kamu tidak dapat mengelak daripada memuji temannya maka hendaklah dia berkata, saya kira begini, jangan sekali-kali dia menyucikan seseorang mengatasi Allah." (Hadis riwayat al-Bukhari dan Muslim)

Muawiyah berkata bahawa Rasulullah SAW jarang sekali meninggalkan pesanan ini di dalam khutbah Jumaatnya:

"Sesiapa yang Allah kehendaki kebaikan untuknya, diberinya kefahaman yang mendalam mengenai agama. Sesungguhnya harta itu manis lagi menawan. Sesiapa yang mengambilnya dengan cara yang benar, diberkati padanya. Berwaspadalah kamu daripada perangai puji memuji. Sesungguhnya pujian itu adalah sembelihan." (Hadis riwayat Ahmad)

Namun kita perlu bezakan antara memuji (ada udang sebalik batu) dengan memberikan pengiktirafan dan penghargaan. Memberikan pengiktirafan dan penghargaan digalakkan bertujuan memberi galakkan, melebarkan silaturahim dan mengeratkan kasih sayang. Nawaitu perlu dijaga sepanjang waktu.

Kita juga dilarang memuji diri sendiri dan menyebut kebaikan diri. Firman Allah yang bermaksud:

Tidakkah engkau perhatikan (dan merasa pelik wahai Muhammad) kepada orang-orang yang membersihkan (memuji) diri sendiri? (Padahal perkara itu bukan hak manusia) bahkan Allah jugalah yang berhak membersihkan (memuji) sesiapa yang dikehendaki-Nya (menurut aturan syariat-Nya); dan mereka pula tidak akan dianiaya (atau dikurangkan balasan mereka) sedikitpun." (Surah an-Nisaa, ayat 49)

Menurut al-Hasan dan Qatadah, ayat ini mengenai Yahudi dan Nasrani yang mendakwa mereka adalah anak Allah dan kekasih-Nya. Mereka juga berkata:

Tidak sekali-kali akan masuk syurga melainkan orang-orang yang beragama Yahudi atau Nasran. Yang demikian itu hanyalah angan-angan mereka saja. Katakanlah (wahai Muhammad): "Bawalah ke mari keterangan-keterangan yang (membuktikan kebenaran) apa yang kamu katakan itu, jika betul kamu orang-orang yang benar." (Surah al-Baqarah, ayat 111)

Al-Miqdad bin al-Aswad berkata Rasulullah SAW memerintahkan kami supaya menabur pasir ke muka orang yang suka memuji diri. (Hadis riwayat Muslim)

Terkesan dengan tarbiah al-Quran dan Sunnah Rasulullah SAW, Umar bin al-Khattab pernah berkata:

Sesungguhnya perkara yang paling aku takuti menimpa kamu ialah kagum kepada buah fikiran dan diri sendiri. Sesiapa yang mendakwa dia orang yang beriman, maka sebenarnya dia kafir. Dan sesiapa yang mendakwa dia orang yang berilmu, maka sebenarnya dia jahil. Dan sesiapa yang mendakwa dia ahli syurga, maka sebenarnya dia ahli neraka." (Hadis riwayat Ibn Marduwaih)

- Artikel disediakan dengan kerjasama wanita JIM. Penulis boleh dihubungi di emel wanitajim0@yahoo.com

DIY wedding shoes

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

In my previous post, I mentioned that I wanted to sew beads on my shoes..

And now, I've finally gotten around to it.

I bought 2 types of beads, both are white in colour to match my dress

This one cost me RM 3 per packet

And this one cost me RM 2 per packet

After 1 and half day of sewing, I managed to finished 1 and a half of both shoes.. They look like this

and this is the half-finished left shoe..

This is all I've got so far.. If dear readers have any other suggestions to make my shoes much prettier, feel free to comment!

Thank you!

Pre-Wedding photoshoot!

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Jadi trend pasangan2 yang nak melangsungkan perkahwinan zaman sekarang terlalu mengikut2 budaya orang bukan Islam. Saya juga terkejut apabila mencari-cari pakej fotografi di internet dan terjumpa pakej2 yang menawarkan pre-wedding photoshoot.

(gambar ini bukanlah untuk mempromosikan pre-wedding photoshoot, sbb ia haram! Nmpk tak pasangan di atas ni duduk rapat2 sebelum berkahwin? Berdosa tu!)



Sebagai orang Islam, kita harus tahu dengan hukum-hakam setiap perbuatan kita. Mana tahu, perkara yang kecil-kecil ini yang menyebabkan perkahwinan tidak diredhai Allah s.w.t dan kita dicampakkan ke dalam neraka.

Alhamdulillah, Ustaz Zaharuddin telahpun memperjelaskan isu pre-wedding photoshoot dan juga wedding photoshoot.

Ayuh, kalau mahu perkahwinan kita diredhai Allah, marilah baca. Ingat! Perkahwinan hanya bahagia apabila mendapat redha dan rahmat Allah. Sekiranya tidak memperoleh kedua2nya, buatlah apa2 sekalipun, pasti tidak akan mengecap bahagia..

(Berikut telah dicopy & paste drpd http://www.zaharuddin.net)


SOALAN

Minta jasa baik Dr, untuk menerangkan trend orang berkahwin masa kini yang biasanya membuat sesi pre-wedding atau selepas kahwin. Bagaimana pula pendapatan atau upah bagi jurugambar yang terbabit. Terima Kasih Dr.

JAWAPAN

Menurut hukum Islam, perkahwinan sememangnya wajar dihebohkan dan digalakkan untuk menganjurkan majlis kenduri kendara. Selain menyambut hari bahagia, ia juga sebagai iklan kepada masayarakat berkenaan perkahwinan yang dibuat bagi mengelak salah tanggapan terhadap pasangan di kemudian hari. Hukum kenduri kahwin dan menghebahkannya ialah sunat sahaja sebagaimana sabda baginda:

أولم ولو بشاة

"Adakanlah kenduri kahwin walaupun hanya dengan seekor kambing."

Pun begitu, diakui bahawa hari ini susah semakin merebak trend menggunakan khidmat jurugambar professional atau separa professional untuk aktiviti bergambar sebagai kenangan perlu diteliti hukumnya.

Ringkasnya begini:-



1. Hukum bergambar secara umum : ia adalah harus dan tertakluk kepada jenis gamabr yang diambil. Demikian fatwa majoriti ulama kontemporari termasuk Sheikh Dr Yusuf Al-Qaradawi.



2. Bergambar selepas bernikah

Ia bergantung kepada beberapa keadaan seperti berikut :-

a- Pakaian yang dipakai oleh pihak pengantin : Sekiranya pakaiannya mendedahkan aurat secara jelas atau sipi-sipi terdedah. Penggambaran itu adalah DIHARAMKAN jika diambil oleh jurugambar bukan mahram kedua-dua pengantin. Jika diambil oleh mahram kedua-duanya, maka tidaklah mengapa dengan syarat gambar yang dipetik tidak disiarkan kepada awam sama ada di flicker, facebook, youtube, blog atau lainnya. Ia hanya untuk kenangan peribadi sahaja.

Berhias (tabarruj) dengan menampakkan aurat dengan tujuan untuk dipamerkan kepada orang ramai adalah dilarang. Firman Allah

وَلا تَبَرَّجْنَ تَبَرُّجَ الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ الأُولَى

Bermaksud: Dan janganlah kamu bersolek(berhias) seperti mana wanita jahiliyah berhias."Janganlah kamu bertabarruj seperti kelakuan orang zaman jahiliah dahulu." (Al-Ahzab: 33)



b- Pakaian menutup aurat namun dengan aksi peluk memeluk, cium mencium dan lain-lain aksi yang agak boleh mengghairahkan: Ia juga haram sekiranya jurugambar bukan mahram khususnya bagi pengantin wanita.



c- Pakaian menutup aurat dengan sempurna cuma bersolek dan berhias menarik dengan jurugambar asing atau bukan mahram. Dalam konteks ini, saya berpandangan, hukumnya adalah DIBENARKAN dengan syarat tiada aksi intim ditayangkan di hadapan jurugambar. Gambar juga DIBENARKAN untuk disebarkan kepada rakan taulan secara berpatutan sekadar member maklum perkahwinan telah dilangsungkan.



Adapun, jika timbul perasaan riya’, berbangga dengan pakaian yang dipakai dan majlis yang dianjurkan, itu merupakan dosa berasingan yang dilakukan oleh pasangan. Itu tidaklah menjadikan seluruh majlis dan aktiviti bergambar itu sebagai haram. Ia dianggap sebagai haram lighairihi jika berlaku.



Justeru, jika ada pasangan yang merasakan persiapan dan pakaian mereka terlalu mahal dan secara logiknya akan mengundang perasaan cemburu berlebihan di kalangan awam yang melihat, sebaiknya gambar yang terpapar diminimakan dari sebarang hebahan awam bagi menjaga hati sendiri dan orang lain yang akan melihat.



1. Bergambar sebelum bernikah (pre-wedding)

Ia juga bergantung kepada keadaan seperti berikut :-

a. Pakaian menutup aurat dengan sempurna dan pasangan diambil gambar mereka TANPA bersentuh atau TANPA lain-lain aksi yang boleh mengghairahkan seperti berbaring, berpelukan, berpegangan tangan atau lain-lain aksi yang khas untuk suami isteri yang sah sahaja. Dalam keadaan sebegini hukumnya di antara MAKRUH dan HARAM kerana dibimbangi nafsu masing-masing sukar dikawal apabila berada secara berdekatan, lalu ia boleh sahaja termasuk di dalam kategori “mendekati zina”. Justeru, ia sangat elok untuk dijauhi kerana keperluannya amat kurang dan hampir tidak diperlukan malah boleh jatuh di dalam kes pembaziran. Firman Allah yang bermaksud: “Dan janganlah engkau membelanjakan hartamu dengan boros yang melampau”.(Surah al-Isra’ 26)

Imam al-Jurjani mengatakan bahawa al-Israf ialah mengeluarkan harta lebih daripada perkara yang diperlukan.Manakala al-Tabzir pula ialah mengeluarkan harta bukan kepada perkara yang diperlukan (perkara maksiat).



b. Pakaian tidak menutup aurat atau dengan aksi bak suami isteri : Ia adalah HARAM tanpa sebarang keraguan lagi. Ini juga fatwa yang telah dikeluarkan oleh Majlis Ulama Indonesia yang mana petikan beritanya berbunyi :


Foto pra-perkahwinan pasangan pengantin baru Islam yang merakamkan aksi intim sebelum majlis akad nikah, dikategorikan sebagai budaya haram di sisi Islam.

Kelaziman bakal pengantin beragama Islam merakamkan foto secara intim termasuk berpelukan dan berbaring di atas katil sebelum sah bergelar suami isteri daripada segi hukum adalah bertentangan dengan ajaran Islam.

Sehubungan itu, Institut Kebudayaan Melayu Jambi mengeluarkan kenyataan bahawa budaya berkenaan harus dicegah seiring dengan fatwa yang dikeluarkan oleh Majlis Ulama Indonesia (MUI) berhubung isu yang sama.

Menurut pengerusi bahagian kajian dan pembangunan institut berkenaan, Djunaidi T. Noer, amalan merakamkan foto pra-perkahwinan bukanlah budaya masyarakat Jambi dan tersasar daripada hukum Syariah.

"Kami menyeru agar semua pasangan yang bertunang dan pengantin beragama Islam supaya tidak merakamkan foto pra-perkahwinan seperti berpeluk, berbaring antara satu sama lain di katil dan sebagainya. Ia merupakan haram," tegas Djunaidi seperti dilaporkan akhbar The Jakarta Post, hari ini.


UPAH JURUGAMBAR

Mankala upah jurugambar semuanya tertakluk kepada hukum yang disebut di atas tadi, Jelasnya ia menjadi HARAM jika gambar intim lagi mesra pasangan dalam keadaan pre-wedding.

Boleh pula menjadi halal lagi DIBENARKAN jika jurugambar adalah mahram pengantin perempuan khususnya.

Juga upahnya menjadi HARAM jika pengantin tidak menutup aurat, dan dibantu untuk memetik gambar mereka dan dihias menggunakan teknik fotografi yang canggih bagi mencantikan hasilan foto. Semua itu dikira bersubahat dalam perkara dosa dan maksiat yang ditegah oleh Allah SWT. Pendapatan sedemikian adalah TIDAK BERSIH lagi haram.

Boleh menjadi HARUS walau jurugambar bukan mahram tapi gambar diambil selepas pernikahan dan menutup aurat dengan sempurna serta tiada aksi yang boleh kebiasaan boleh merangsang nafsu biasa lelaki.

Sekian



Dr Zaharuddin Abd Rahman

Adab dalam pertunangan

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Di copy & paste kan daripada sini.. http://bhalaqah.blogspot.com/2009/09/adab-pertunangan-mukaddimah-walimah.html

Pertunangan merupakan mukaddimah kepada perkahwinan. Ianya diharuskan di dalam islam bagi memberi peluang kepada si lelaki atau perempuan untuk mengenali pasangan masing -masing dengan lebih dekat lagi.Tempoh pertunangan ini juga merupakan masa bagi seseorang itu untuk membenihkan roh persefahaman ikatan kasih sayang dengan pasangan masing -masing ke arah melahirkan sebuah mahligai keluarga yang bahagia.

Adapun adab-adab semasa bertunangan (ianya melibatkan kedua-dua belah pihak samada lelaki atau perempuan) bolehlah dibahagikan kepada 2 bahagian :

a) Adab dalam bergaul

Maksud pergaulan di sini ialah pertemuan, perbincangan atau hubungan secara langsung antara si lelaki atau si perempuan dengan tunangan masing-masing.

Setiap pertemuan atau perbincangan itu hendaklah ditemani oleh muhram (si perempuan). Seboleh-bolehnya pertemuan itu diadakan di rumah si perempuan. Tidak diharuskan duduk berdua-duaan.
Ingatlah hadis Rasulullah SAW : Tidaklah seorang lelaki itu bersendirian dengan wanita melainkan ada orang yang ketiga iaitu syaitan.

Perbincangan itu mestilah sunyi daripada unsur nafsu dan syahwat.

Dalam keadaan menutup aurat sebagaimana yang telah digariskan oleh agama islam dan harus dingatkan bahawa aurat di antara keduanya adalah sama dengan aurat perempuan dengan lelaki ajnabi (muhram), hanya sekadar muka dan dua tangan sahaja.

Bagi pihak perempuan, janganlah bercakap terlalu manja dan menggoda.

Sementara bagi pihak lelaki janganlah merasakan bahawa anda telah mendapat milik mutlak dan boleh melakukan apa saja.

b) Tempoh pertunangan

Pada hakikatnya islam menggalakan agar tempoh pertunangan itu disingkatkan, ianya bagi mengelakkan daripada berlakunya sebarang fitnah atau berlakunya perkara- perkara yang tidak didugai dan ulamak sendiri tidak menetapkan tempoh tertentu pertungan, cuma rata-rata mereka lebih cenderung untuk memendekkan tempoh. Disini saya sendiri cenderung kepada mempercepatkan perkahwinan kerana:


Dalam tempoh pertunangan yang lama, dibimbangi tersingkapnya keaiban pasangan yang boleh membawa kepada putusnya hubungan pertunangan. Selain daripada itu, besar kemungkinan terdapat juga orang yang mungkin menaruh perasaan dengki kepada pasangan dan menabur fitnah yang tidak ada benarnya yang boleh membawa padah kepada pasangan itu sendiri.


Tempoh yang lama mungkin memberi peluang kepada orang lain yang mungkin ada menaruh hati kepada salah satu pasangan dan berusaha untuk memisah antara keduanya


Dibimbangi kedua pasangan banyak melakukan dosa disepanjang tempoh pertunangan dengan kerapnya mengadakan pertemuan yang tak syarie. Susah untuk menjaga batas aurat dan syarat ditemani oleh Muhram.


Lebih menenangkan gelodak jiwa dan perasaan rindu yang boleh mengganggu prestasi pelajaran dan juga kerja.

Kesimpulan dari pemilik blog:

1) Tidak perlu buat majlis pertunangan yang terlalu mewah dan menunjuk2 kerana tidak termasuk dalam syariat Islam, ada unsur2 pembaziran dan bermegah2.

(Riak adalah syirik.. Rasulullah bersabda, "Sesungguhnya yang paling ditakutkan daripada apa yang aku takutkan menimpa kalian adalah asy syirkul ashghar (syirik kecil).
Sahabat bertanya: "Apakah dimaksudkan syirik kecil itu?
Baginda menjawab: Riak.")

(Hadis riwayat Imam Ahmad dan Baihaqi)

2) Faham maksud bertunang dari segi Islam. Selagi mana pihak perempuan telah ada persetujuan secara verbal, walaupun tanpa sebarang majlis untuk berkahwin dengan si lelaki maka sudah dikira bertunang.

3) Bertunang bukan ikatan yang hak. Ia hanyalah tempoh dimana si lelaki dan perempuan boleh berkenal-kenalan dengan batasan-batasan agama, dan dalam tempoh ini juga tidak ada lelaki lain dibenarkan untuk meminang si perempuan. Ini kerana si perempuan itu sudah pun berjanji untuk berkahwin dengan si lelaki.

4) Singkatkan tempoh pertunangan untuk mengurangkan ruang untuk syaitan menggoda perasaan masing2 dan juga mengganggu gugat hati dan keyakinan masing-masing untuk meneruskan rancangan perkahwinan untuk mendapat redha Allah.

5) Hadkan komunikasi kepada perkara-perkara penting sahaja kerana lebih banyak komunikasi dan pertemuan, lebih banyak ruang untuk hasutan dan godaan syaitan.

6) Gunakan masa pertunangan untuk mengenal hati budi bakal pasangan dan juga untuk menambah ilmu pengetahuan mengenai pengurusan rumah tangga dengan membaca buku2 ilmiah.


Wallahu'alam..

Pakej Andaman

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Hmmmm... looking for a wedding dress is not an easy task to do. Before I made my decision, I went to several boutiques to check their packages and tried on a few dresses. I wanted to wear a jubah like dress. Not too tight, but look bridal.

So, the first day I went dress-hunting, I came upon this boutique that offers a package of RM 1600 for a new pair of wedding attire for both female and male of my own desired design, a one panel dais (for a place to take photos only) and 1 session of make up. The first time, my sisters weren't very thrilled. She thought that it was too expensive. I have to pay rm1600 and do not get the dress. She persuaded me to have my wedding attire tailored.

So, I went out again, for fabric-hunting which took me several days of searching and surveying prices. The good thing about this was, I learned a hell lot of things about bridal fabric. I learned about chiffon, satin, laces, their different types, their prices and even how to match the colours.

Unfortunately, my knowledge wouldn't be put to any use because a few days ago, my mum started saying that I should take the rm 1600 package. She said that it's better to rent the dress instead of having one made because the likeliness that I would wear it again is very scanty (which is the reason i wanted to rent in the first place before my sister persuaded me otherwise)

So, there I was again, with my mum and eldest sister at the bridal shop.
Paying a first deposit of rm100 for the package...

So, the problem with My dress is settled.

Another problem is with the groom attire because he doesn't want to wear something other than baju melayu. So I told him that, the tailor will make a new groom attire if you requested for different design but if you want to wear baju melayu, she will just give the one she already have... But he still wanted to wear baju melayu.. so, what else can I say..

So, that's that. the only thing that I need to do about wedding attires after this is to pay for the rest of the payment (have to wait until I start working) and find the dress for bertandang at his side.

**sudah tidak ada mood nk rancang perkahwinan sendiri**

Wedding jitters

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

I know it's too early to have any wedding jitters at this point of moment. My wedding is not in another 6 months. But being the unemployed self, I don't have much things to do right now except, planning and planning and planning for my wedding, until one day I decided that I have had enough!

I'm tired of browsing for fabrics for my dress, flowers, make up, and other things that involves with wedding.

I'm tired of visiting varieties of fabric stores looking for the ultimate fabric of my desire at the most reasonable price.

So, I decided to give myself a useful thing to do to keep my mind off these wedding stuff..

And guess what I've chosen for myself to do?

DIY tissue paper flowers for my DIY photocorner..

A big, huge HAHAHAAH for me..

So, how to make a tissue paper flower..?

There's countless of blogs that quoted on this.. and you can just type into google or youtube and wallah! you will be served with thousands of links on how to do it.

These would be how the flowers will look like..

Wedding shoes

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

so, wedding shoes ni terjumpa masa jalan-jalan di Times Square..

Harganya, tak boleh beritahu! Tapi murah sangat2. Kurang daripada RM 100.

Memang nak pakai kasut flat sahaja kerana saya tidaklah biasa berkasut tinggi. Takut nnt ada pengantin tergolek di majlis sendiri. Lagipun lebih senang nnt nak melayan tetamu2 yang hadir kan?

Another part which is good about these shoes is that I could totally wear it again after the ceremony..

But, the only problem is the colour. I don't really think that it would suit my white dress. But I guess after a putting a little bit of white beads and pearls on them, may make the shoes look better.

I don't know how I'm going to sew the beads on. Maybe if I found the beads, have the mood and time to do it I might do it. But if I don't, this would be how it would look like on my wedding day.. =p

Wedding dress

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

So, today I went out with my best friends. They had initially gathered at my home because we had a "happy circle" with our beloved Prof Harlina. Their stay at my home ended today and before they went back to their hometown, they wanted to go shopping at Jalan TAR.

So, we headed early in the morning to Jalan TAR and as they wanted to look at blouses, my maid-of-honour and I, decided that we would look at different things. My friend wanted to find some fabrics to make herself a shawl and I was just looking around, browsing and taking notes of fabrics that could be useful for my wedding dress.

For wedding dress's fabric, first we went to a shop which was having a 'Sale'. Well, though they are having a sale, the price are not so cheap, mind you. The lace that I was looking at was priced at RM 60/m and the satin was RM 19/m. Hmm... not so cheap, I would say. The chiffon in that shop was not in the quality as I would have expected so we looked in other shops. the price for a meter of plain white chiffon was RM 24.50! I don't know about you guys, but my jaw literally dropped at the price..

We did a rough calculation based on the design of my wedding dress and the amount of fabric needed as told by the tailor

4 1/2 m of satin is around RM 90
1 1/2 m of lace is around RM 120
8 m of chiffon is around RM 200

Total cost of the fabric is RM 410, plus tailoring cost which is RM 280 making the total would-be-expense of my wedding dress is RM 690!!

Oh my, oh my.. so much of wanting to have a low-budget wedding..

Hm.. i guess i may need to keep on looking for fabrics that are much cheaper, or I might need to forget my dream of wearing the wedding dress I wanted.

I wanted to wear a dress that is kinda like a 'jubah' but with a more modern look and suitable for a bride, but still keeping the modesty of the wearer.

I first met my wedding dress, at a boutique just near my neighbouring area. The boutique offers a package of RM 1600 for a new, made-for-me wedding attire for man and woman plus all the accessories (for rent of course), a dais, and make-up. At first I thought that it was a pretty good offer, but my sisters weren't so thrilled. So I decided to have a tailor-made wedding dress. The cost to sew it is RM 280.

I wanted a dress that is sort of like this one..please imagine it with beadings and lace over the arms and lower part of the dress.. =)

Of pre-marriage course

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..


So, today's post is about pre-marriage course. For all Muslims couples living in Malaysia who wish to get married, it is compulsory by law to attend a two-day course organised by the state's religious departments.

For me, this is the 2nd time I've attended the course. My first time was when I was still young, innocent and immature and attending a pre-marriage course would not be a very tempting idea. My first time in the course was not very interesting and needless to say, I was quite skeptical about attending the 2nd time. If it wasn't due to having lost the certificate, I wouldn't have needed to enroll into this course again. So, frankly speaking I registered myself with the sole purpose of getting the certificate and has it done with.

How I enjoyed myself during the 2-day course!

The topics that were discussed in the seminars were very good and important topics and almost all speakers were very fascinating. I particularly like this one speaker and here i wanted to share with you what she said to us. I think, as a bride-to-be (and also groom-to-be) it is a very valuable piece of advice.

Her advise was,

Pray to Allah! pray to Allah?

Yes! Pray to Allah to help you in making wise decisions for your wedding preparations!

Why? What should I pray for?

1) for muslims, it is very important that you take halal food only. Sometimes, we are not sure whether the catering service that we hire, uses halal produces or not, whether they practice business according to the syariah or not. Whether the owner or the people cooking your dishes perform their prayers or not. So we need to pray to Allah to guide us in choosing the best catering service according to His syari'ah. Well, we wouldn't want to serve our guests with un-halal food, right?

2) pray to Allah, to protect you and your fiance from any temptations of the syaitan to do bad things throughout the time you are engaged. It is well known that this period is the most trying period and we need to ask for His guidance and His protection.

3) pray to Allah, to protect you from spending extravagantly in preparing for your wedding. We don't want to be friends with the syaitan. Modesty is the key to receive the blessings from Allah. It is understandable to want to have an exclusive wedding. But spending thousands of ringgit for a one-day ceremony cannot guarantee your happiness for the rest of your marriage. What can guarantee your happiness, inshaAllah is blessing from Him the Almighty. And modesty is the sunnah of the prophet Muhammad s.a.w.

4) pray that your wedding ceremony would not be filled with the types of entertainments that are against the syariah and other types of activities, traditions or acts that are not according to the sunnah and syariah.


Before I attended the seminar, I've never thought about needing to pray to prepare for my wedding. Alhamdulillah, there's a reason I've lost my certificate and had to attend the course again. And one of the reasons is this valuable advice

Alhamdulillah, all praises belong to Allah s.w.t.

My inspiration

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.. In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful



It has been a looong time since I've been blogging. I thought I've made a vow not to blog anymore but I was inspired to create this blog as to share my experience in creating a wedding that follows the sunnah of my beloved Prophet, Muhammad s.a.w.


Well, to all fellow muslimah bride-to-be, it's not easy to have a wedding that is modest and according to the sunnah. Not with the goings of trends of weddings nowadays..You have to fight a lot of temptations; from within yourself, and from those around you. As a girl, and as many other girls out there, I dreamed of having a lovely wedding, filled with fresh carnations, daisies, gerberas and maybe some roses. I'm not very fond of roses. =). I also dreamed about wearing a beautiful dress, having a professional photographer snapping pictures of my big day. But to have that kind of dream, you need to have a lot of money to spend as well. And I don't have a lot of money, having just graduated from university and currently not working, yet. And I wanted my big day to follow the sunnah of ar-Rasul.


Preparing for my own wedding brought myself to countless hours of searching the internet for ideas. I've read countless bride-to-be's blogs on how they prepare for their own weddings. I had to fight the temptation of having glamorous wedding and it was very difficult for me to find a blog, a bride that tells her story of how she has a very un-traditional, but sunnah-following wedding ceremony. And this has become my inspiration to write this blog, inshaAllah..


My first post for today, is inspired by this picture:

Well, it may looks like a bit too simplified. In preparing for a wedding, there's a lot of things that need to be considered, especially the feelings of your parents and your future parents-in-law. There's a lot of feelings, opinions and wishes to be respected and not only your own. However, I believe that communication is vital in solving a lot of problems in this kind of situations. For those brides, or grooms who wishes to have a modest ceremony but are fought against by your own parents, you can express your wishes to your parents but first you need to be equipped. Equipped with knowledge. Do what my friend did; she bought and read a book entitled "Walimah yang Sunnah" and equipped herself with knowledge to make her case to her parents.


A marriage is something sacred. A tie, a bond that is cherished by Allah s.w.t. There's a lot of rewards being promised by Him through marriage. But if the first footstep that you've taken to enter it has been tarnished with wrongdoings, how could you guarantee that Allah will help your marriage afterwards. As Mufti Menk put it (as taken from his facebook status);

Lavish weddings where much money is splashed, extravagance is clear, religious rules are blatantly disregarded, the poor are not invited and people forget that it is meant to be a sacred union and a gift of the Almighty, cannot bear much blessings and can even return to haunt the families later on.

The most blessed of all weddings are those full of simplicity where religious rules are given prime importance and the whole function considered a spiritually filled celebration of a sacred gift of the Almighty.

The type of seed sown is determined by the type of wedding we have. How can we expect to reap beneficial fruit when we chose to sow the seeds of cactus?

The sad reality is that people incur debts to hire lavish venues in order to live up to the Jones. They then suffer paying back whilst the food has long been digested, the function outdone by another and at times the divorce already taken place.

Remember, you can never achieve pleasure through the displeasure of the Owner of eternal Pleasure.

The Almighty, who gave us this day of happiness will indeed be unhappy if we choose to express our happiness through sin.

Let us seriously take heed for the future and repent for what has passed by.

We need to remember, that although we respect and love our parents, our love and respect for them should never outweigh our love, respect and loyalty towards Allah s.w.t. My creator and your creator. So, we should bid by His laws first before we decide to follow the ceremonial traditions that are against the Syari'ah.

Pray that my future journey will still follow the Prophet's way, InshaAllah..